Recruitment Letter?

Xolox wrote:Is anyone interested in writing a recruitment telegram? If we really want this kick off, we should probably start working on that. If nobody else volunteers, I guess I can have a try at it. If you don't feel like writing one yourself, but have suggestions for what to highlight in the letter, feel free to leave those here!

Lockdownn wrote:Any other suggestions? I'd like to get this set up right away.

Ebsotz wrote:What I think we need is more shazam!

We need to color it, add links to the forum/region page, do all that stuff. That will draw the readers attention.

Xolox wrote:

Lockdownn wrote:Any other suggestions? I'd like to get this set up right away.

It's already been in circulation for a few days and has been sent to 158 people(no takers). Any other letters posted here will be added. We'll probably do better with more variety.

Lockdownn wrote:

Xolox wrote:

Lockdownn wrote:Any other suggestions? I'd like to get this set up right away.

It's already been in circulation for a few days and has been sent to 158 people(no takers). Any other letters posted here will be added. We'll probably do better with more variety.

Ah, so they don't like cookies.... xD

Xolox wrote:

Lockdownn wrote:

Xolox wrote:

Lockdownn wrote:Any other suggestions? I'd like to get this set up right away.

It's already been in circulation for a few days and has been sent to 158 people(no takers). Any other letters posted here will be added. We'll probably do better with more variety.

Ah, so they don't like cookies.... xD

Yep, I guess so. Out of 358 telegrams, we've nabbed one nation.

Later, I'll work on a telegram that focuses on the features of our region, rather than just asking them to join.

Apocryphi wrote:It is to my understanding this has been completed, so I suggest it is archived.

Lockdownn wrote:Wait!!!!!!!!! Don't delete me! I might have something important to say! Or maybe I don't, well in any case, why not give it a shot.

We here at [region]Global Federation[/region] are always looking for new friends, family, co-workers, because here, you're not just people, we know that from past experience. We would like to inform you that our region is not like the others, I know that because this has been said a lot and most have been somewhat fake----ish maybe? But besides the point, you WANT an active community, no not even that, you NEED an active community.

I bet most of you will not read down to these last few lines, and if you did, I applaud you with a cookie, any type you want, non-gluten, chocolate, marshmallow (I think, let me check my inventory), ah yes, here I have some for you.

So we've taken the overwritten, generic, cliche, response you'd get from any old region, and turned it into something new and exciting, kind of wordy but nonetheless informational.

I can guarantee that most of you will not join this region, I can guarantee that most of you will have deleted this by now. But come on, give it a shot. We know you have it in you to try something new for a change, trust me, you will NOT want to leave this region!

Give it some thought, maybe archive this, talk it over with your friends, or just plain delete it. Just promise me you'll give us a shot, so we can!

Founders: [nation=short]Xolox[/nation]|[nation=short]Lockdownn[/nation] You may telegram either off us if you have any general concerns about this region

Ninth Haven wrote:
So, I don't know if you are still taking suggestions, but I think to help the telegram out a bit you can mention how we have our own region map and forums. I know that we have a link on the NS site, but it's good to mention it in the telegram as well.

You could also mention how we role play; people look for that too. Another suggestion is to possibly get rid of some of the lines that leave uncertainty to the reader.

For example, "I might have something important to say! Or maybe I don't." That makes the reader question if they really want to continue reading the telegram or maybe that was just me when I first read it.

It's just a couple suggestions to highlight some things about the region. I hope it helps a bit if you do implement some of them. If you weren't taking anymore suggestions, then sorry for the reply.

Xolox wrote:Yes, we're definitely open to suggestions. Not to rag on Lockdownn or anything, but I received this telegram about a week ago:

Apocryphi wrote:What exactly is the current telegram

Code:

Welcome to NationStates!

On behalf of the [region]Global Federation[/region], I cordially invite you to join us.

We here at the Global Federation strive to be an active, warm and welcoming role-playing community, encouraging membership to players of any ideologies to help add to the dynamic of the region. We want you to become an important, highly contributing integral part of the community, achieving all that is best for you and your nation.

[b]BUT WAIT...[/b]

We also have a high-detailed regional map of which is easy to establish yourself on, and after continued dedicated membership, growth opportunities for you nation!

So if you want...

[b]*ACTIVE ENJOYABLE ROLE-PLAY[/b]

[b]*A HIGHLY DETAILED MAP WITH MANY GROWTH OPPORTUNITIES[/b]

[b]*FOR US TO HELP YOU AND FOR YOU TO HELP US BUILD OUR NATIONS TOGETHER[/b]

[b]*INTEGRATED REGIONAL GOVERNMENT
*IN-CHARACTER AND OUT-OF-CHARACTER ACTIVITIES WITH OPPORTUNITIES TO FURTHER YOURSELF AND YOUR NATION INTERNATIONALLY[/b]

[b]*GOOD HONEST EVERY DAY FUN[/b]

I recommend the [region]Global Federation[/region] is for you!

We all at the Global Federation look forward to seeing you.

Thank you,
[region]The Global Federation[/region]